My 11 year old son had just finished his baseball season which ran from April through July. Since it was August, it was time for baseball tryouts for next season. The league needed to get the teams selected because practice was scheduled to start in Late November/early December. As I drove my son to the tryout I remember telling him to just have fun. I told him what matters is he does his best and I’m proud of him.
They divided the players into groups and ran them through stations. At each station the boys got a grade of some kind. I watched intently as the boys went from station to station. I was grading the boys in my own head trying to figure out how my son stacked up with the other kids and what team I thought he should be placed on. My son was heading to the fly ball station when I pulled him aside. I told him I’ve been watching the fly ball station and the coaches are doing the same thing with every kid. They hit a fly ball right at you, then they hit a ball to your left, then to your right, then in front of you, and finally they hit a ball over your head. I knew my son would have trouble with the ball hit over his head so I gave him a tip. I told him to cheat back a little bit on the last fly ball before they hit it to him so he could have a better chance of making the catch. It was my sons turn to be graded and they started hitting him the fly balls. On the last ball he didn’t do what I suggested and he didn’t make the catch. After the fly ball station I again pulled him aside and he could see that I was mad. I said to him, why didn’t you listen to me? I knew you’d miss that last ball. I’ll never forget the look on his face. I crushed him! I crushed his spirit, his fun, and his trust in me. He also knew that speech I gave him on the way to the ballpark was bullshit.
I could write many blogs with stories just like this one or worse. Simple put, I’m an idiot. I failed many times as a parent. To make things worse, I was also my sons coach for many years. I regret every time I used my son to make up for my own athletic failures. I regret every time I got angry when my sons athletic experiences didn’t go the way I wanted. I regret every time I embarrassed myself, my wife, my family, and my son.
If you can’t relate to me, and you are a much wiser dad than I was, thank you. Thank you for having proper perspective. Thank you for having self control. Thank you for not exasperating your child.
Left Brain Sports 